I Miss...

I miss the simpleness of childhood.
I miss getting excited about little things.
I miss seeing beauty in ashes.
I miss being amazed by what's bigger than me.
I miss laughing till my sides hurt.
I miss crying for no reason because my heart might burst if I didn't.
I miss taking chances and I miss the memories of moments of bliss and tragic ends.
I miss getting so caught up in a book that I almost feel like I actually lived it.
I miss playing the piano into the night because it brings me closer to my Father in Heaven.
I miss not worrying when I believed life would be blessed regardless beacause of God's faithfulness.
I miss being confounded by the wonder of the stars on a clear night and I miss the way I can enjoy the best meal I've ever had.
I miss being moved and feeling everything so deeply.
Numbness makes me miss these things that my heart holds so dear.

The Burn!!!

My trainer at the gym keeps trying to convince me that I am going to become addicted to working out.
I think he is crazy. I think it might kill me.
This class might be the thing that helps me get back into it. I hope so.

What a stressful week!

This blog is honestly a mess of random thoughts. No particular purpose for writing it other than to process it all.

One of my kids got a super high fever this week which scared the shit out of me...I could only imagine if it was actually my kid. Kids are so dependent and need love and compassion. That's why I don't understand people who mistreat them and act like they shouldn't give an arm and a leg to protect them. That is the motivator behind me doing social work.

I have so many different interests going on in my head and random things that I would love to do which makes actually doing any of them really hard! I can only hope one day I will get it all straight.

Housesitting for my padres was an experience this week.

What to do when someone you love is absolutely headed down the worst road imaginable and you are helpless to do a damn thing about it!!!!???

Trust is the only thing getting me through that one...

Uncomfortable chains

Hebrews 13:3

"Remember those in prison as if you were their fellow prisoners, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering."

Last night my church had an all night prayer service. Being the cynical person I can be sometimes...I was expecting your typical service where people jump around and shout but do nothing after the fact. Anyways, I was shown last night that there is still some good in the American church today. Young people were praying last night for so many different things with a spirit of expectancy that God would respond!

My faith was encouraged and gave me the kick I needed to wake up. The persecuted church has been on my heart for a long time. The stories of religious persectuion I find blow my mind and shock me that I am not hearing these things all over the news. The media will not bring attention to the issue so Christians must bring the awareness. There is not much talk in churches here about our brothers and sisters being tortured and marytered for the sake of Christ. It is easier to ignore it since bringing it up would be uncomfortable. God forbid we should be uncomfortable!

The fact is that following Christ is not a popular thing especially when it asks something of you.

In 2006 171,000 Christians were marytered...it is easy to hear a big number like that and forget that those were individual lives that held purpose and futures....had families and friends but knew the cost of following Jesus would require everything. I wonder sometimes how I would respond in that situation. Is our faith that genuine and bold that our perspective is bigger than our own little worlds?

What's the Point?

Everything has a purpose. Divine design purposed every action we would make and every word we would say. Hard to fathom that we were meant for greatness in a world where it is easy to feel so small. But where do you start? How to you really start to tap in to the greater purpose that was meant for you? Every moment has to count. To stop moving is to die....(not sure who said that)...It is easy to say What is the Point but another matter to say How do I reach the Point?

It is unrealistic to expect to change or save the world but tragic to not even try. You could affect one thing or one person who could affect another thing or another purpose and ripple affect would set in and glorious exploits for the Lord could be seen. Who knows? But you will never know until you settle in your heart what the point is.