Sunday, August 21, 2011

21...what is next?

Can't sleep tonight! Not a good thing...I neeeed my sleep for the benefit of all those I encounter tomorrow!!
It might have something to do with turning 21 tomorrow. I have been pretty excited about my birthday all week but feel pretty weird about the whole thing tonight. Laying in my bed, I began thinking about this past year, everything that has transpired whether good or bad and I can't help but wonder what is next?
Did I grow at all this past year? Where am I spiritually, physically and mentally...oh flashbacks to team time in Nica;)
I believe I did in some ways but have also been on somewhat of a roller coaster going through seasons of growth and then seasons of drought.
20 was a good year for me but I am ready for things to really begin to happen. I know God has good plans and is taking care of things even when they seem unclear to me. His time is better than mine could ever be and his will is perfect for what lies ahead.
Patience is not something I have ever really done well but I am learning and taking one step at a time. I get so frustrated with waiting. Waiting for something that may never happen; or at least it feels that way sometimes. Where is my faith??eeeesh!! While I was trying to go to sleep the word dare kept going through my head. How daring am I? Do I dare to trust God and see what he has in store? Could I dare to give control to him instead of holding on so vehemently myself!
I want to be more daring this year. Taking chances that God would have me take when they bring glory to him. I spend so much time worrying over what is right or wrong and even my future but I should really be focused on bringing glory to God since that is what I was created for in the first place. This year will be a year of daring. Daring to trust and step out; to see what could possible happen.

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